Hello MomFit Tribe!
We have had a crazy month! And I don't just mean we were crazy busy - because thats a given we are mommas- but crazy life events have happened.
I did go live and talk a little bit about what happened this month and you can find that video in our facebook group. It will be added to Youtube soon.
I am going to talk a little bit more about it here though.
(I as in Natasha- Melissa will talk about her events soon.)
Because feelings sometimes come out better when written then they do being said.
My dad died.
He died suddenly.
Well...kinda. Suddenly as in unexpected and he went into a coma suddenly but it took about a week for him to pass.
After the horrible drawn out events of his passing and then the funeral I was left mostly numb for about a week.
Now take into account that I have never lost somebody close to me before. My grandparents are still around and I didn't know my great grandparents to really mourn their passing.
The closest thing to me to pass was a family dog when I was little-Max. And just the one dog was lost.
Now moving back to now.
I didn't know what to expect and I have to say I wasn't prepared for the strange thoughts about death I had never thought of before.
I don't know why they never occurred to me before hand they seem like valid questions and after doing some research it seems that others ask the same thing but it is not something I had given thought to before now.
Death effects everybody differently, which I saw first hand.
I am 1 of 5 children and all 5 of us grieved in our own way.
I myself was angry. At everyone and everything.
The neat thing about family though is we seem to provide for each other even without knowing it. My younger sister was able to handle my sassy ass but she would have broken apart had I cried.
So my anger in turn helped her stay together.
Her easy going patient attitude helped ease my anger instead of causing me to burst in a rampage.
It has been 3 weeks now since he has passed and I still find myself angry but I am moving onto this sad stage. A sadness where I am finding it hard to smile or feel happy and I am seeing the gaps in my life that my dad once filled. I am sure this will pass as well, I may even come back around to anger and sadness after whatever comes next. I don't really know...I haven't gone through this series of emotions.
The thing that has been bothering me is the question 'where is my dad?'
I mean I know he isn't part of this world anymore, but when we (as a generally sense) phrase it that way it seems that there is an assumption there is another world.
This goes into religion a bit.
Spirits, heaven, hell, and all that.
People say he is looking down on me now that he is gone. This right here is the main thing I am stuck on.
Just because someone passes doesn't mean the are omnipresent. Therefore he can't be looking down on me and everyone else he loves at the same time. And to believe he is just looking down on me gives me a pretty big ego.
I think this is what people say to make grieving people feel better or more at ease.
But this still doesn't answer the question 'where is my dad?' He can't be looking down on me so where would that put him?
The age old question of what happens after death plagues me as the time passes.
I try not to ponder on this long because I don't have an answer and I don't believe there is an answer until I myself die.
I do take comfort in the fact that God- who is omnipresent- is with me and watching over me.
To help me and my sisters and brothers in this difficult time I created an anti anxiety / anti stress challenge to help me do things productive that will also promote happiness.
This challenge started on Friday but you an play catch up or go at your own pace.
MomFit does have a prize in mind for 1 lucky winner who participates in this challenge.
To win
1. Participate in the challenge by completing each daily task.
2. Take a picture at the end of the task with a note on how the task made you feel.
3. Post the picture on YOUR feed and hashtag #momfitdestress and #momfityear
Don't forget to tag us so we see your posts!
Seeing others in this challenge gives me something to think about and look forward to each day :)
See you on the happier side!
